Premarital Counseling Questionnaire

Marriage functions in two roles.  The first may be the one you are most familiar with: the civil role.  According to the government, marriage is a binding contract between a man and a woman that offers legal protections and privileges exclusively for the couple.  As such, the government’s role is simply to qualify, regulate, and enforce these legal contracts, protections, and privileges.  It is certainly an option for you to have a state official perform your wedding ceremony.  But the very fact that you have contacted me about your upcoming wedding indicates your desire for it to be more than just a legal contract. And that brings us to the second function of marriage.  More than just a legal contract, marriage between two believers is a holy covenant made between them and God.  This is why a Christian wedding is also a worship service.   We understand, as Christians, that our marriages are living examples of Christ’s relationship with the church and should be, above all things, submissive to Christ's commands and, therefore, God-honoring.

I believe in the inerrant word of God and strive for complete obedience to Him.  As such, I must live under the convictions of Scripture.  Flowing from these convictions, I hold to the policies listed below regarding my ability to perform a wedding ceremony.

• I will not marry a believer with an unbeliever. (2 Corinthians 6:14-18)

• The question of divorce is perhaps the most difficult and complex question regarding marriage.  Many believers in Christ have been divorced.  It is my personal conviction that those who are divorced should remain single.  However, each situation will be treated individually and with compassion.

• I will not marry couples who are living together prior to the marriage ceremony. If you are currently living together, I will ask that you repent of the sin of fornication and, until the marriage ceremony, you find separate housing.

• The couple must commit to sexual purity until the wedding. If a couple has been sexually active prior to premarital counseling, they must repent and commit to moral purity from that point forward until the wedding day. (Romans 12:1-2; Hebrews 13:4; I Thessalonians 4:3-7; Galatians 5:16-21; Ephesians 5:1-3)

• I require the couple to participate in premarital counseling.

You may feel that you cannot meet the above requirements.  If so, I encourage you to discuss the issue with me.  There are times that my convictions will not allow me to perform the ceremony; however, regardless of whether I perform the ceremony, I am always open to offering premarital counseling.

WHAT TO EXPECT IN PREMARITAL COUNSELING

Pre-marital counseling is an opportunity for the wedding couple to explore and discuss the significance and meaning of marriage, the wedding service, and the nature of their life-long commitments. Subjects such as marital conflict, communication, finances, budgeting, relational matters, and legal matters are included. One of the key components will be discussion of scriptural teachings concerning the relationship between a husband and wife. Five one-hour sessions prior to the wedding ceremony and one session following are normally required for the pastor to cover the topics, but may be adjusted to suit personal schedules.

Thank you for taking the time to thoughtfully complete this questionnaire. Please be sure to sign the covenant at the bottom of the page. If there are questions you are unable to answer, or feel that you cannot truthfully make the promises contained in the premarital counseling covenant, please indicate that where possible and discuss the issue with Pastor Ben during the first session.