What's so wrong with an ant in the sugar?

The earliest disagreement I can remember having with my wife came in the early days of our courtship. We were both students at Shorter University and in the last year of our studies. Though we had known each other since our freshman year, we had only recently begun a serious relationship and were excited to spend as much time together as possible. I had invited Dana over to my apartment and was preparing a meal for her. The specifics of the meal have long since evaporated from my memory, but the particulars of our disagreement remain fresh. I had recently purchased a 4lbs. bag of sugar and was preparing to use the new sugar in whatever I was making. When I opened the sugar container, Dana noticed a singular black ant crawling across the top of the sugar. The building my apartment was in was an older building and thus the occasional bug was just part of living there. When Dana pointed out the little ant, I scooped it out and went on with my business of preparing food. Dana immediately protested and demanded that I throw away the entire container of sugar. I countered that the majority of the sugar was untouched by the ant and throwing out all of it would be wasteful. She contended that it was all contaminated by the presence of the little ant.

I was a poor college student and did not think that the presence of the single little ant required the disposal of 4lbs. of perfectly good sugar. Though I was not bothered by the ant, I tried to find a compromise by offering to scoop a large portion from the top of the container and dispose of that portion, but this did not satisfy Dana. She was immovable in her position and would settle for nothing less than the disposal of the entire container of sugar. Desiring a relationship with Dana more than keeping my sugar, I relented and disposed of the sugar, but I was not happy about it.

Today this event has become a favorite story to tell. When we do, I pretend to still be sore over having to buy another 4lbs. of sugar, and Dana makes much of how grossed out she was that I even considered using the “contaminated” sugar. We enjoy telling the story because it reminds us of those early days of our courtship that hold such a precious place in our memory. But today the particulars of the story have little if any, connection or relation to our lives now. At the time, I was in my 20s and living in a men’s college dormitory. The building’s accommodations were adequate, and my room was maintained at a reasonable level of order, but I can assure you that, at this point in my life, I would not prefer to live in a building that has housed college men for over 50 years no matter how well it was cleaned or maintained. Since those days, my expectation of comfort and cleanliness has changed, improved, and grown. In my 20s, a little ant or even moldy bread (a story for another time) did not bother me, but I can assure you that if you eat at my table today, there have been no bugs in the ingredients, and the bread will be fresh. I am the same person, but now I see and understand things differently and have matured since those days.

In the introduction of his first letter to Timothy, Paul testifies to the blessing of salvation and the forgiveness of sin that he has known through Jesus. He boldly proclaims, “that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.” This, of course, is the motivating truth that would compel Paul to be the great evangelist that he was. But this declarative sentence does not end there but rather with a personal confession. Paul proclaims that Jesus came into the world to save sinners, and then he says, “of whom I am the foremost.” Paul declares himself the greatest of sinners. How can this be? Certainly, Paul had not been perfect. In a previous verse, he even lists sins that he had been given to, such as blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. These certainly are not inexcusable, but how can he claim to be the foremost of sinners in comparison to murders, adulterators, thieves, and liars? Surely, he had avoided such sins, having spent the first part of his life living under the strict legalistic demands of a pharisaic life? I do not think Paul is being hyperbolic. Nor do I think he is being self-deprecating. I think he truly sees himself as the foremost of sinners. And this, I believe, flows from the work of sanctification.

Sanctification is the work that God does in the life of a believer to make them more like Himself (1 Thess 4:1-8). When you come to salvation, your sins are forgiven once and for all through the work of Jesus on the cross, and you have the promise of eternal life. Yet, any Christian will testify that at the moment of salvation not all the vestiges of the flesh disappear. Through the work of the Spirit, God works out His sanctification more and more in the life of the redeemed. This means that God is always dealing with Christians concerning sin in their life. Though at the moment it may be hard to see, over time, Christians can see how they are growing closer to the Lord and more and more growing in holiness. 

As you grow closer to the Lord and in personal holiness, the greater the wickedness and danger of sin are revealed. Things that once seemed of little concern are revealed as corrupt and polluted in the light of God’s holiness. Things that once seemed benign are exposed as deadly lies of Satan in the light of God’s holiness. All this has the two-part effect of revealing how much you have been forgiven of and how much mercy you still need. When Paul says that he is the foremost of sinners, he is not saying that he is growing in sin but rather that he has and is growing in his awareness of sin.

So how does this relate to my 4lbs. of sugar? My standards have changed. Or better put, my standards have been raised. Today I would not live or be satisfied with the cleanliness standards I held to twenty-five years ago. Back then I had no issues with an ant in the sugar, but today is not true. Likewise, my awareness of sin and my need for the mercy of God has grown since the early days of following Christ. I am more deeply aware of my sin than I was then. I am more deeply aware of my need for both God’s grace and His mercy than I was then. I understand more today the holiness of God and the vileness of my sin than in days before. And with this ever-growing awakening to the holiness of God comes the related growing awareness of my own sin. This is why I think Paul declared himself the foremost of sinners and why I think all those who have known salvation through the blood of Jesus will declare the same for themselves. Sanctification does not make you a greater sinner, but it does make you more aware of the greatness of sin that has been forgiven. 

I have grown in my desire for purity in my sugar. That is a good thing that my wife is very pleased with. But greater still, I am growing in my desire for purity and holiness before the Lord. This is by far a better thing indeed.