I have been rebuked twice this week by church members, and thankful for it

One of the occupational hazards of being a pastor is sometimes your words come back to you. Pastors talk a lot. Pastors often give counsel. Pastors instruct, teach, and preach. With all this talking, there are many directives and admonitions given. And so, it is not uncommon for someone to start a conversation with me with the words, “Pastor, you said.”

In the past week, this has happened twice. One was a comment made without recognizing that they were rebuking me, and the other was a direct and clear corrective word. Both were received as precious blessings and profound encouragements.

The first came from a couple who has been dealing with a devastating disease. As a result of the disease, physical strength has been lost, expectations and life plans have had to change, and they have had to navigate challenging difficulties in their relationship with one another. Both husband and wife have a deep relationship with the Lord Jesus and are unquestionably committed to one another. And yet there have been moments when the difficulties and uncertainties of the disease have tested their faith and stressed their relationship. A few months ago, the husband and I were talking about some of these challenges, and I had the opportunity to encourage him to receive the care of his wife as a gift of God’s grace. It is frustrating and hard to go from physical strength and ability to dependence on another. Yet God had provided well for him, and in this moment of weakness, he had a unique opportunity to experience God’s providence. I encouraged him to be thankful for God’s provision rather than dwell on the frustrations of his difficulties. He received this counsel well, went home, and shared it with his wife, and later they both expressed to me appreciation for the counsel.

Earlier this week, I was talking with this couple. The due date for filing and paying income tax was approaching, and the husband and I were commenting on paying our taxes. I commented negatively about the burden of taxes and the government’s use of our confiscated income. That’s when the rebuke came in like a sucker punch. The wife said to me, “Pastor isn’t it like what you told my husband? Should we not be thankful when paying our taxes because we are reminded that God has provided for us the resources that are taxed and the resources to pay the tax?” She was right. God has graciously and abundantly provided for me. And rather than responding with thankfulness for God’s provision, I was complaintive.

The second came from a lady in our church who has long dealt with a disability. Anyone who has suffered from a disability has prayed for God’s healing. We are joyful when God brings healing and often wrestle with despair when God chooses not to heal our bodies this side of heaven. And yet, scripture speaks more to the blessings from suffering than from momentary healings. Paul prayed three times for God to remove what he called a thorn in his flesh, but in 2 Corinthians 12:9, God responded with something better than what Paul had requested when he answered, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” From the battles of the Israelites to the evangelism of the first church, over and over throughout the testimony of scripture, we see the principle that God’s power and might is experienced when we are weak. It is not natural to desire or pray for weakness, but it is only in weakness that we are able to witness and experience some of the more precious elements of God’s sovereignty, power, and provision.

This dear saint and I have had many conversations where she shared the difficulties and suffering that have come from her disabilities, and I have encouraged her to rejoice in what God is doing through her suffering. I have encouraged her to see weakness as an opportunity to experience God’s power and her infirmities as an invitation to know God’s provision. I have given counsel on how the frailties of our bodies draw our attention away from the fleeting reality of this world and toward the hope of eternity’s glory. In all these conversations, she has received my counsel well. When telling me of a new challenge or difficulty, she often does so with a genuine smile and an accompanying testimony of how God has used it to deepen her faith or bless her unexpectedly.

I have recently been experiencing an injury that has dramatically altered my lifestyle. Since the onset of the injury, I have approached it as a temporary setback and assumed that once recovery was over, I would return to the activities I enjoyed before the injury. However, months have passed, and there seems to be no improvement. Though I hate to admit it, despondent thoughts have crept in, and I have begun to wonder if I will ever return to pre-injury activities. The idea that my present reality may be permanent is heartbreaking. In a recent church service, I asked the congregation to pray for me. I mentioned that I was very discouraged about my recovery and fearful that lifestyle changes may have to be accepted. As soon as the service ended, this lady made her way straight to me while pointing her finger at me. She reminded me of our many conversations, of how God’s strength is known in weakness, and that no matter what the outcome of my physical malady might be that God is in control and will provide. She spoke with a kind smile, genuine care, and confident authority. It was almost as if she was saying, “Now, pastor, you know better.” I did know better, but God used her words of chastisement to draw my attention to what the Lord was doing rather than brood over my infirmity.

Proverbs 27:6 tells us that “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Any wound is painful, but when inflicted for your blessing and good, it is received (eventually) with thankfulness. As a pastor, I often speak difficult words to others. From the pulpit and in one-on-one counseling sessions, I desire to faithfully proclaim God’s truth. Sometimes truth is easy to hear and well received, and other times painful, but it always leads to healing. It is good when these painful words are received, and God uses them to bless, mature, and bring healing. I rejoice when I have had the opportunity to witness this in others. But this week, I rejoice that the testimony is my own.