Stop complaining - It is not having the effect you think

WorkComplaining

Sep 2

The squeaky wheel may get the grease but only until it is replaced.

There are two opposing kinds of workers. The first kind often looks like they are not giving much effort to their work. They get their job done and are good at what they do, but because of the appearance of the lack of effort, some judge their job as easy in comparison to others. The second kind often looks overworked, overstressed, and working very hard. They, too, get their job done, but because of the effort and stress required, many judge their job as more burdensome than others.

Those in this second group often complain about their job's difficulty, the time required to perform expectations, and the required effort that must be given. These complaints often elicit sympathy from friends, family, and others. The complainer often presents themselves as a hard worker, but one who has not received the needed support, is asked to do too much, or is under-appreciated in other ways. Though the sympathetic responses do not alleviate the burden of their labor, they are appreciated as affirmation for the effort of their work.

Over the years, I have observed many who were incredibly skilled and those not well suited for their labor. I have discovered that those who complain about how hard their job is are not always assessing their job's difficulty but rather assessing their own competence. Those competent at their job often appear at ease in their labor. They can accomplish their tasks with ease and without being overly stressed. On the other hand, incompetent people often appear to be working harder than others. Their work seems to be controlling them, they require excessive time to overcome their inability, and they experience high frustration with the tasks. Thus, the effort needed to accomplish a task may not always be the best metric to determine the value of the labor or the labor's competency. If you are overburdened at your job, you may be incompetent, misapplying your effort, or need additional training.

Many years ago, I had an assistant who seemed often overwhelmed with what I thought were typical work-related tasks. My assignments were often met with complaints of being overburdened and not having enough time to accomplish what was asked of her. I did not understand why she was overwhelmed and overburdened, so I asked her to keep a journal of what she did during the day. If she was being asked to do more than was reasonable, I wanted to understand where these requests were coming from so that they could be adjusted or, if needed, additional help brought in to meet these needs. When she turned in the journal of all the tasks she accomplished, it was very full, and more than one person could be expected to do. However, as I read through all that she did throughout the day, I discovered that she was doing many tasks that were not part of her job description. She had taken on these things out of personal interest but had not been asked or expected to do. When these tasks were removed, the job requirements were well within her time and ability.

This experience taught me that complaints generally do indicate a problem but are not always the ones identified by the complaint. When we feel overworked, underappreciated, and overburdened, we generally accuse external causes. We might point to an over-demanding boss, burdensome job requirements, or a lack of support from other coworkers. Of course, sometimes these things may be true, but more often, the cause has more to do with you than external causes.

You do not perceive it as overwhelming when you are competent and gifted in a particular area, even when the demands are high. Yet when you lack competence, even the ordinary demands of a job will feel overwhelming. I have found that when the temptation to complain about my work grows, it generally indicates that I am struggling with an issue of my competence. Recognizing this can be liberating in that it allows you to deliberately work towards greater competence rather than fall into the trap of complaining. The complainer assumes they are gifted, but that forces beyond their control are acting against them while they soldier on. The novice knows they lack the needed skill, expects the task to be too challenging, and humbly seeks required training and help.

Sometimes life demands that you take on tasks that are not easy for you. These can be opportunities to complain, or they can be opportunities to learn a new skill and conquer new challenges. Complaining may make you feel better temporarily as others acknowledge your struggle, but it likely is not having the effect you think. More than gaining sympathy, your complaints are probably exposing your inadequacies.

Here in the south, our cultural context is always to be nice and never point out the negative – even if it is obvious. This makes for pleasant conversation, but it is not always helpful. If you are a complainer, at least in my cultural context, many will listen to you and give a sympathetic response. After you leave, they are likely to conclude every retelling of their conversation with you with the phrase "bless their heart." And in case you do not know, "bless their heart" is not a declaration of confidence and support. You complained, looking for support and sympathy but revealed your incompetency. It is not bad to be incompetent. In most things, we began as such. It is, however, dysfunctional to remain incompetent. So, stop complaining and start learning, asking for help, and focusing on the primary tasks. Complainers are tolerated, but those who are growing and developing are the ones who will truly get the job done.

Stop complaining - It is not having the effect you think

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